The Pains Of Being A Stoner

Posted on August 15 2016

Now, as I’m sure you already know, being a stoner is pretty great, you can deal with stress and problems in more productive and proactive ways and generally have a more creative angle on things than non-stoners do. No? Perhaps it’s just me.
However this is not to say that being a stoner is plain sailing, whilst we may succumb to many of life’s general problems and slip-ups, there are a number of problems which draw exclusively from smoking weed and become problems when you’re high. Bear in mind that these are not generally harmful problems, more like minor inconveniences employed to annoy when you’re stoned.

The major one is forgetfulness, not really long term stuff, more in terms of short-term memory. The major impact of this problem is felt mainly when one gets the munchies and is trying to make food. For instance, you decide to cook an oven pizza but the oven will need warming up, in the meantime you sit down to watch TV, it’s The Simpson but not only that, it’s a double bill, and next thing you know an hour later you’re alerted by the smell of the leftover grease in your oven, which has created a thin smog in your kitchen, as opposed to the lovely smell of a baking pizza. Also, you’re still hungry, this is a problem, easily solved but a problem nonetheless.

Another one is what my friend used to refer to as ‘couch lock’ this is the action, or lack thereof, where a person fails to peel their stoned self off the sofa to perform a task. You can check the dictionary for the exact definition as my memories a little hazy. This can interfere with your general life in a number of ways, such as ensuring that you honour pre-arranged plans and obtaining food or drink, as the amount of effort it takes to move sufficiently increases.

Also if you work a job where you get drug-tested, I don’t (obviously) but my friend does, marijuana can take up to three months to leave your system, which means if you do work one of these jobs smoking marijuana will definitely have more serious hardships.

So, in general these are less serious problems and more minor inconveniences, apart from the last one, which can be looked back upon with fondness.



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