Have You Ever Been So Stoned That...
Posted on September 07 2016
I see tons of articles and write-ups concerning the insane and normally unlikely things people claim to have done whilst stoned, many are obviously not written by stoners, as they make the mistake of acting as if marijuana turns you into some drug-crazed loon as opposed to being slightly more relaxed (physically and/or mentally) and more susceptible to entertainment. However while many are massive exaggerations, there are those things you do when stoned which range from the bizarre to the downright ridiculous. These things normally begin as little things but can spiral out of control as a result of you being stoned. So in this post, I will imagine some completely bizarre scenarios in the same vein as those I see on the internet as well as genuine everyday stoner mishaps.
No matter how stoned you get you’re unlikely to be able to identify and relate to articles which read “have you ever been so stoned that you accidentally microwaved your cat?” I have never met anyone who has done anything quite this strange when they’re stoned, although a friend of mine did take a pizza straight from the oven and accidentally drop it on his dog’s face, the only similarity between the two being that they would both take place in the kitchen and harm an animal. I deplore that my friend did not intend to drop the pizza on the dog's face and I would argue that he was probably a bit more upset than the dog, as we all know the pain of seeing a pizza going to waste trumps molten cheese and tomato sauce on the face.
On a similar note (to the pizza on the dogs face) a far more reasonable story would be ‘have you ever been so stoned you’ve forgotten that your foods in the oven?’ or some such topic regarding the loss of/ruining of food when stoned. This is a very touchy subject therefore until you have felt this pain you should not talk about it. Most, if not all, stoners can relate to it. It’s nice to know you’re not alone.