Challenge Your Stoned Self - A US Citizenship Test

Posted on August 10 2016

With all this talk of immigration and all its problems recently, I decided to have a look at the citizenship test one would have to go through to become a resident in the US. As an extra stipulation for the task, I challenged myself to do it stoned and see if it presented anything like a challenge. Turns out I know the obvious facts however when it comes to the technical aspects of US politics my brain is prone to slip ups, especially when stoned. So here goes a couple of the questions I was asked.

Who is in charge of the executive branch?

Turns out it’s the President, this seems kind of obvious given the name, however it could have just as easily been the comic book hero sounding: Chief Justice

How many U.S. Senators are there?

Always gotta keep it one hundred on this one. Of course, it’s a hundred, everyone knows that.

We elect a President for how many years?

‘Four more years’ chant circles around in my head as soon as I read this question, I’d even been watching Futurama just a few minutes ago so this one was kind of easy.

Who vetoes bills?

I actually answered congress, turns out it's the big man himself,the President who does this.

What are the two major political parties in the United States?

The fact that Liberty and Justice are even an option for this one brings a huge smile to my face, before the real answer of Republicans and Democrats reminds me of the current state of US politics.

What is the economic system in the United States?

This one floats the answers ‘communist’ ‘socialist’ and ‘barter’ to you, all of which my stoned brain would get a kick out of putting as the answer but obviously, it is capitalism.

I finish the test with around 75% my stoned brain seemingly going blank when asked which ocean was on the west coast, hint it's Pacific as opposed to Atlantic. Also,bizarrely, the test asks when the Declaration of Independence was introduced and also what date Independence day is, the former only offering one date which had July as the month. Overall I can say that it is most definitely possible to pass the test  with your senses dulled by marijuana, just prepare to slip up along the way, and for those taking the test seriously I would not recommend it. 

 

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