Dear Oregon, (a letter to your state)

Posted on October 11 2015

Dear Oregon,

 

I’ve always suspected you were cool. Portland seems like an Indie Arcadia, with a music scene to rival Austin, and from what I’ve gathered from Portlandia, you have a high percentage of cute, neurotic girls who would be delightful to go for for a coffee with (Note: my tongue is in my cheek). 

 

I was told by a friend of man in NY that he once had a very surreal experience in a strip club where a girl gave him a private dance to Tom Waits’ ‘The Piano Has Been Drinking.’ The fact that an event of such monumental discordance could occur within your state borderlines re-affirmed my initial suspicions that you were in fact cool. To me you have always been like that girl in the year above who, although hot, would always wear faded band t-shirts and look disdainfully over at the cheerleaders and popular kids as she buried her head in a Murakami novel. I never spoke to that girl (much to my regret) and I have never visited you. 

 

At the beginning of this month you became the third state - following Washington and Colorado - to allow marijuana shops to sell the green stuff to anyone over the age of 21. Whilst you began tentatively, selling only to those with medical prescriptions, your latest decision to relax the laws, is a step I hope other states follow. The success of such a move will hopefully be received and copied by California, Massachusetts, Arizona, Ohio, Nevada and Maine in 2015 and 2016 elections. 

 

I may never get to talk to that girl in High School, who I remember through the filtered gauze of adolescent memory as having two defining traits: she was both cool and intelligent. I will, however, be visiting you as soon as possible to make up for my shyness back then, and metaphorically have the conversation I always dreamed of having.

 

Perhaps this metaphor is laboured? I don’t care. I just wanted to write you this letter to say good work. 

 

Sincerely, 

The shy stoner in the corner.

 

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